One Day At A Time

What does it really mean to live sober and clean?
It means no more having to lie or cover up.
It means I get a chance to live and not hide.
It means I have a life, and no longer just hiding behind the door.

Its been 9 months since I have had my new found sobriety in finally living.
I have the respect of my family back. I like to share on my life what its meant.
The blood, sweat, tears, and prayers that have been said and shed.

The hardest to recover is my respect for myself and learning to love myself enough
to do that which even seems hardest at times. To pour out my soul and share with another my victories my failures and short-comings. More importantly even listening to someone else who has been there and how they got through many 24 hours with out a drink or a drug.

I have had the teaching of here as of late, that what I did ten years ago can affect me yet today and put in motion that which I would have never suspected just by my own choices.
Today begins the first of many of my days living alone and that is scary.
I have not been alone in many years and while Iam living alone its really hard to say I am truly alone because I know as long as I have my higher power whom I choose to call God...
He is always with me. He always knew the choices I would make and if it were not for him and those who love me so much I could not be sober'n clean today.

Along the way I will share some of my friends and more hopes and dreams... my life with you.
Thank you for taking time to read this and being a part of my sobriety today.

I decided to add more to todays ... Today I watched my ex go out the door to not come back to live...watching helplessly as boxes went out the door and last little bit a turn to give me a hug
and the closing of the door so a new chapter opens in my life as the door had shut.
My heart broke in a million pieces while yet it was what we both wanted and knew had to be done.